This is the conversation I had to have with my just turned 6 year old heart-broken daughter on Tuesday...she was trying to figure out this turn in life between tears and shudders of great grief...
"Mama...why do puppies have to die?"
"Why did my puppy have to die?"
"Can't God fix her? I know He can...He can fix anything"
"This is just not fair"
"She is the sweetest puppy ever"
"Does this mean I well never see here again?"
"Do dogs go to heaven?"
"I don't like God right now"
"Please, please mama, I don't want this to be happening..."
Our sweet little Daisy has died...
Monday I noticed that she wasn't eating and didn't look right, she also wasn't her usual sassy self. Late Monday and into Tuesday morning she started vomiting and then having watery diarrhea. We rushed her to the vet the vet thinking she must have gotten into something that was making her sick...
When we got there the vet was shocked to see the difference in her just since she had seen her 6 days ago...she was no longer the rolly polly puppy but her ribs now showed and she seemed so tired.
After a brief discussion the vet wanted to do a Parvo test just to rule it out and then we would go from there...
The kids and I waited in the waiting room for the results. The kids played with all the great doggy toys and talked to the resident lizard...I sat and prayed that everything would be alright and that Daisy had just eaten something that had disagreed with her.
After just 15 minutes the vet called us back to the examining room where Daisy lay in her crate...the look on the vets face made my heart drop...
"It's Parvo" she said with a sad look on her face.
I don't know a lot about dog diseases but know that this is one you don't want.
She went on to explain how it would eat away at the lining of Daisy's intestinal track. She would vomit and have diarrhea until she probably would die either from cardiac arrest or dehydration.
She also wanted me to know that she highly suspected the Daisy had a strain of Parvo that was in our area that was exceptionally aggressive and very hard to treat...her extremely rapid decline was evidence of it.
I want to say here that the vet was so kind and so very careful about how she spoke of this in front of the kids...who were too busy exploring and talking to the dog to pay any attention to what the grown ups in the room were discussing....She used terms like 'expire' instead of 'die'...which I though was very gracious of her.
She told me of our options.
One was to treat at home which with as little as Daisy was and as aggressive as the disease seemed to be it wasn't a good option and the outcome was surely to be bad with her suffering till she died.
Two was to admit her to the hospital and pump her full of fluids and medications and hope for the best. At $350/day and a stay up to 3 weeks this was an expensive option at best. I asked what her prognosis was in the hospital...less than 50% was the reply. Daisy would be vomiting, be in a strange place surrounded by strange people who were poking her with needles and chances are she would not survive...
I took the kids to the car and called my mom to come sit with them
I said a prayer that I would make the right decision and went back in to talk frankly with the vet.
After discussing the options again it was decided the best thing for Daisy was to put her down.
I sit in tears now just writing that down...I hate decisions like this. I love animals but I am so very partial to dogs. A puppy just about does me in with their cuteness and sweet spirit. Making a decision to put down a dog that was just beginning her life just ripped my heart out.
But I am a grown up and a mom and know that there are just some things that you cannot control and you cannot fix.
I went out to the car and talked to Sweet Girl who came in to say her goodbyes to her first ever very own puppy...her birthday puppy...her Daisy...
I have no words to adequately describe how my heart felt watching her tenderly reach into the crate to stoke her dog and tell her goodbye.
As a mom I am very sad and more than a bit angry. Daisy came to us already infected with this horrible disease. What kills me is that it is because of irresponsible people that let their dogs have unwanted puppies. Those low lifes that just dump whole litters of puppies off at the humane society. Those that don't bother to vaccinate their dogs...
Those who not fit to own a dog...
They are the reason that my daughter has had her heartbroken.
And it gets better...now we cannot ever get a puppy here on the farm for a long time...Parvo is now in our soil infecting our land for between 7 and 10 years. We can only bring a dog into our family that is old enough to have had all of its vaccination rounds.
My children well never again have the pleasure of playing with a tiny puppy of their own for a very, very long time.
I am angry...
But I am more sad...
Thank you for letting us be your family.
"It is because we live in a sinful world sweetie, that is why puppies die. God does not want them to die but that is the consequence of sin...it is death. This is not the way God intended the world to be. Someday when we live in heaven their will be no death"
"Mama...will Daisy be in heaven?"
"I don't know...but I sure hope so"