The Inadvertent Farmer

Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday...but never jam today

 

"The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday...but never jam today."  Lewis Carroll Through the Looking-Glass

 

That is exactly how I feel this time of year!  Yesterday I made jam. Tomorrow I will make jam. But is there time today to enjoy a piece of toast with jam?  Certainly not, I've got too much jam to make!

These are the grapes we picked last night...I'm guessing when I add them to the blackberries I should get at least a dozen batches of jam.  Yes I will be chained to the stove all day and well into this evening!

This winter I'll sit down next to the woodstove with my warm piece of toast and homemade jam and remember why I do this every year. 

But for today I've gotta wonder...

 

"Mom there's a goat in the Subaru!"

"Mom, dad's home", teenage son from upstairs

"Ok", me downstairs cooking dinner

"He's got a goat in the back of his car!"

"What?  I thought you said your dad has a goat in his Subaru!"

"That is exactly what I said"

I dropped my spoon to run to front window just in time to see hubby unloading a darling white pygmy goat out of the back of his subaru station wagon.  Who was this man and where is my husband?  My hubby, with all the patience of a saint, usually puts up with my animal weaknesses.  Bringing one home, on his own, in the back of his very well cared for car is simply not done...ever!

As it turns out he was visiting his parents and it just so happened that they had been taking turns with their neighbor 'storing' a little goat in their garages trying to find its rightful owner.  My inlaws live in town on a busy street so finding the owner of a stray goat just didn't seem that hard...how many people keep goats in that neighborhood?  Well it turned out to be more difficult than they anticipated.  After the little guy climbed up on one of their cars it was decided that for his own sake and the safety of all the cars in the neighborhood he needed to find a more suitable home.  As luck would have it along comes their son who happens to be married to the woman that can't turn down an animal and you guessed it, hubby arrives home with said goat, lol!

'Fluffy' as he was christened by my then 2 1/2 year old daughter, has been an interesting addition to the farm.  He is small and friendly, he also likes to escape and head butt everyone that enters the pasture.  Oh well we wouldn't want a boring animal now would we?

Oh by the way...I burned dinner!

The 'anti-cute'...spider pic

Well I didn't want everyone to think that it was just all about cute around here so here is the antidote for cute...creepy!  I must say that for a spider this guy is rather good looking. 

 

It took over 10 shots to finally get this picture.  The web was just about 3 inches from a wall and the spider was on the wall side with its not so colorful underside facing me.  I had to sneek the camera lense into the space between the wall and the web...of course my head wouldn't fit to see in the lense so I had to guess when the spider was in focus.  It took quite a few tries because I kept moving the web or focusing the camera everywhere but on Mr. Spider but I finally got this one.  Worth the effort I would say!

Its a boy...I think

Well I think the baby is a boy.  You try picking up a squirming baby llama while the mama threatens to spit all over you and tell whether it has girl parts or boy parts, lol!  But if I had to guess I would say boy. 

What I know for sure is that it is too stinkin' cute...everybody altogether now, ahhhhh!

 

     

We have a new BABY...warning cute overload!

I was walking the fence earlier this evening (see story of obnoxious camel and how I'm gonna kill him, lol)  and was just coming around the big fir tree and and saw the llamas.  Well to my surprise  there were 4!  We only have 3 llamas, well we did until today!  Here is the new addition.  I'll post more about him/her later but just had to share!

 

Things growing on the farm...that nature planted!

While I was out in the orchard over the last couple of days I've noticed all kinds of interesting things growing on the farm that I didn't plant.  Nature is simply the best gardener of all!

These two pics are of wild blackberries...the ones I loving call 'Frankinberries' for the tenacious growth and wicked thorns!

   

Next are the fir cones growing in a large Douglas Fir tree at the bottom corner of the orchard

    

A wild rose bush in a sunny spot along the fence,  is covered with rose hips and is over 6 feet tall!  This will be a great source of food for the wildlife this winter.

 

Curious Critters...Animal photos up close and personal!

Yesterday the kids and I went out looking for leaves to do leaf rubbings for art class.  The animals were very curious to see what we were doing.  They followed us everywhere while we searched for the perfect leaf, all the while watching and hoping we would drop one or two for them.  At one point the goat got so up close and personal with the camera I had to wipe goat slobber of the lense...gross! 

   

Gizmo the Camel

 

Sophie the Llama

 

Fluffly the Goat

Early morning apples...juicy photos

I went out early this morning to pick apples...luckily I also took my camera!

 

 

 

  

 

Camels don't buck...they bite!

My teenage sons and their friends couldn't resist trying to ride Gizmo the camel soon after he arrived (read how we got the camel) .  Just how to accomplish this feat seemed to elude them.    Now you must know that we do not have a camel with two humps...so deciding where to sit is a challenge.  Do you try for the top of his hump hoping not to slide down the backside over his boney rump and onto the ground at the tail end?  Or do you try  in front of the hump at the base of his neck, arms wrapped around clinging for dear life?  They soon found out that it really didn't matter much...on top, in front, or around, the only place these boys were gonna ride was on the seat of their pants dumped on the ground with no reguard from the camel for their tender male egos.

 

First they tried climbing the rails of the stall in the camel shed and climbing aboard.  Never mind that the stall needed to be cleaned and there were mounds of camel manure as well as a few deposits from the goats as well as the llama.  As you can guess the first kid ended his split second ride on the ground beneath Gizmo's feet in a pile of poo.  Unfortunately I missed witnessing this attempt but heard about in in full Technicolor detail for weeks after (I did get to see the resulting stinky laundry in person though...lucky me!)   I'm glad I didn't miss the next episode of boy vs. camel!

One beautiful afternoon I noticed a parade walking through our pasture...Stefan, Dane, Christopher, and bringing up the rear was Gizmo.  Now how in the world are they getting that camel to follow them?  Then I saw they were waving a maple branch,  Gizmo loves maple leaves and will do just about anything for them.  They were leading the camel down to the largest of our maple  trees.  To bad they weren't moving fast enough... now they are running through the field because Gizmo is chasing them trying to get the branch...run boys run!  They drop the branch under the tree and scramble up while Gizmo looks at them suspiciously and then begins to eat the abandoned treat.

Next thing I saw were leaves fluttering down from the tree...its June, why were there leaves falling?  The kids were picking and dropping them under a low growing branch trying to get Gizmo to walk under it...ahhh now I  had figured out what they are up to!  The camel final comes into position, his hump just a few feet under the branch.  He has no clue what is about to land on him!  After much encouragement from the onlookers Christopher quickly drops from the tree onto his Gizmo's back.  Now our camel is usually a slow moving rather relaxed creature but you should have seen him move.  First he began to run with Chris clinging to his hairy neck I thought for sure he would try to buck him off like a wild steer in a rodeo but  Gizmo had a better plan. He decided enough was enough so he reached his long neck around, grabbed Christopher by the pant leg with his teeth and yanked the poor boy off depositing him unceremoniously in the middle of the pasture.  The whole ride lasted less than 30 seconds but one of the most hilarious 30 seconds I could recall!

Score:  Camel 1  Boy 0 ...but the game was far from over!

A little homework goes a long way...

Yes I should have done my homework.  I changed the name of my blog after googling 'accidental farmer' and finding scores of blogs and blog entries with that name.  So here I am the 'Inadvertent Farmer'...different name, same meaning, same whacky life!

Mama has a llama

I forgot to mention that Gizmo the camel came with his own buddy the llama.  I guess being herd animals camels get lonely...wouldn't want a lonely depressed camel now would we?

  

Got a bigger zapper AND got stung.

I had to go to the industrial size 'zapper' for the electric fence thanks to Gizmo the camel.  We went from 800 volts to 2000 volts!!!  It is made to power 200 acres...I have only 5 acres of fence!  Lets see what that darn camel thinks of that. 

Now if you are of the animal rights persuasion don't get all worked up about the animals hurting themselves from a little shock...it is better this than escaping and me shooting them! 

On a more whiny note I got stung while out fixing the fence, I wouldn't usually whine about such a little thing but I received no pity from my husband (hmmm could be cause he's a beekeeper!) and I got stung in the armpit...ouch! 

Yes I reached up to hammer in a loose insulator on the fence and the bee flew right up my sleeve and stung me...

So I'm gonna whine until I've received my due sympathy!

My favorite color of late summer

It isn't the blue of the sky, the orange tinge in the leaves on the trees, or even the purple of the blackberries, no it has to be the red of the tomatoes...yum!  After a late start my tomato bushes have gone crazy, I pick this many cherry tomatoes twice a day.  That doesn't even include the big ones that are just now beginning to come on.  Sure helps to have a garden with grocery prices the way they are now....then again then savings gets offset by the extra  diapers I've had to buy because of all the fruit and veggies the baby has been eating...enough said!

 

"Hey baby want to come up and see my camel?"

Well darling hubby didn't seemed too surprised by the fact that I fell for the  sad sheep story.  He even was beginning to appreciate the job the goats were doing on the backberry vines, despite the countless times we had to untangle the darn goats when they got their ropes hopelessly knotted around trees, vines and their own legs!  Life on a farm was fairly mundane really...until!

One afternoon I got a phone call (yes I should change my number, lol!) it was a friend from church.

"Kim, this is Annette"

"Hey Annette"

"You know we're purchasing Gizmo the camel. In the long run its cheaper than renting him every year"

(note:  our church does a live nativity reenactment every year that attracts around 5000 people, thus the rented camel...just in case you were saying "huh?")

"I've heard you buying him, congrats!"

"Well , we were are needing a place for him and we were all talking and thought of you"

Now I would have loved to be a fly on the wall of that meeting...Hmmm who can we get crazy enough to take a 1500 pound 8 foot tall camel?  Ohhh lets call Kim!

Choking... "You're serious, a camel? You know I've been known to bring an animal or two home but I think even I  better check with hubby first on this one."

"OK, just let me know, I think it would be fun to have a camel, your boys would love it."

Hanging up the phone I imagined the conversation with my darling husband...yes honey I did say camel.  Yes he does need some kind of shelter, yes I'm sure he eats a lot, no I don't know if he likes blackberries...at least he doesn't have to be sheared, I don't think anyway.  Yes I've also heard that camels spit.  But Annette said it would be fun and the boys would love it...no Annette won't be coming over and cleaning up after it!

I must say that I am married to a saint for not only does he let his crazy wife bring home a camel, but builds what we loving call the 'camel shed'.  It is a great building with windows,  salvaged glass door, metal roof and siding...much more than your typical shed.  He even decided to pour a concrete floor for ease of cleaning.  Yes camels poop ALOT!

We have now had Gizmo the camel for over 5 years and life with a camel it interesting to put it mildly.  No he doesn't spit, yes he eats alot, he breaks the fence every chance he gets, he doesn't like to be ridden...another story for later.  The biggest surprise about having a camel is just how many time my then teenage boys  used the line "Hey baby want to come up and see my camel?" on equally as teenage girls...and it worked !  I have seen more girl with cameras at our back fence with one of my sons standing between them grinning for all he was worth...who knew?

This is why men have to wear clothes

Now I know why we require the male of our species to wear clothing. 

I had just gotten my 16 month old son undressed for a bath.  He of course was thrilled that his favorite play thing was uncovered and free.  He was so busy checking to see if he could pull it off that he wasn't watching where he was going, tripped over his fat little baby feet, fell face first against the side of the dresser scraping the end of his nose.

Can you imagine the accidents, mishaps,  and general mayhem it would cause  if we let men walk around naked?

So while I held the baby as he screamed bloody murder I came to the conclusion that we as a society don't mandate clothing on men for the sake of modesty but for public safety!

Baa Baa Black...and White Sheep!

Brrrrring, Brrrring

"Hello"

"Is this Kim?"

"Yes"

"Hi, this is Linda from the Humane Society, remember me?"

Pause...you know it is amazing how many thoughts can flash through your head in an instant, Should I hang up? Pretend its a bad connection? Just say I'm not interested?

"Hello, yes I remember you"

"Well we have another great find for you...two darling sheep have come in"

"Oh...sheep?"

"Yes, their story is quite sad.  They were found half drowned in a flooded field north of here.  They were there for days before someone finally called us."

"That's terrible"

"We of course thought of you when they arrived"

"Of course you did...cough, I mean thank you"

Now darn it if I'm not a complete sucker for a sad animal story.  How in the world could two sheep be left stuck in a flooded field for days before someone called it in?  What kind of people just ignore that kind of thing? But sheep?  What would I do with sheep?  I don't think they are known for eating blackberries.  Don't you have to shear them and stuff?

"We really do need to find these poor creatures a home"

"Uhhh"  thinking, thinking, What will hubby say?  I'll have to learn to shear. Do they need a shelter?  Do I want another drive down the highway with critters hanging out?  Am I completely crazy?

"Ok, I'll be down in a couple of hours to pick them up"

"Oh thank you so much, we knew we could count on you"  Click

Ughhh...now the scales have tipped so far towards the farmer side I'm never gonna be just a regular person again.