The Inadvertent Farmer

A Garden in Snow is Pretty you Know!

OK folks, let's get this snow on the road!

Yes I do crack myself up...why?

As pretty as a garden is in summer it has an unique beauty when covered in snow.

So lovely it makes me break out in verse.

Sorry...

There's snow in the garden and I think that's just great.

It has covered the ground and it has covered the gate.

The weeds look so pretty adorned in fresh snow.

Even the ones that I missed in Autumn's last mow.

 

Forgotten tomatoes still hang on the vine.

I missed a few pumpkins...

I actually missed nine!

So while we are playing snow coveres our noses.

Which is darling on kids...

And just stunning on roses!

 

Snow's even lovely on a plain piece of grass.

Much prettier than there on my camel's big...

Well, you know...

 

 

 

 

 

the Chicken Shadow and my Hungry Kids

I would not do the following because...

Well I just wouldn't.

OK, so yes I would take photos of pretty flowers on my back patio.  In fact I was taking photos of the following little pot of sunshine...

When I noticed a shadow on the wall behind the flowers.

It is this that cracked me up and made me smile this early summer morning...

You see I have this rooster that sits on the back patio, my sister gave him to me.  Each year he has a new pot of flowers inserted in his back. I love my rooster...my sister is pretty cool too!

This particular morning he was casting a shadow that looked more life like than he ever has.

I will admit right here that I am easily amused...it just doesn't take much to entertain me.

What I won't admit is that while I was taking photos of a fake chicken my real chickens were squawking hungrily.   Or that my camel was pacing the fence waiting for breakfast.  Certainly not that my children had there faces pressed to the window mouthing the words...

We're hungry while rubbing their tummies.

No I would never let my kids and animals go hungry so I could take...

Just a couple more shots...

 

And certainly not a few more of a rooster planter!

Not me...I would not do that.

So...what are you NOT doing today?

*****

I'm also over at Not Dabbling in Normal today bragging about some of our kinderGARDEN participants!

Taking this Perspective Thing a little too far? Not me!

As most people who know me in 'real life' know that I'm NOT an all or nothing kind of chic.

Why be vegetarian when you can be vegan? Not me...

Why go a little organic when you can go all organic and grow it yourself to boot? Not me...

I certainly don't have a hard time seeing gray when most things seem so blatantly black or white?

Why be a little messy when...well you know!  Most definitely not me...I'm an immaculate housekeeper!

So when I decided a while ago to try taking photos from new and interesting perspectives it should not surprise you that I might...or might not...take it a bit too far.

Hmmmm....what?

Is that a baby on your back?

Some needs to run a brush through her hair...maybe some roots could be touched up too!

Yes I was lying on belly in the garden holding my camera over my head facing it backwards trying to point up towards Baby Boy who was sitting on my back playing horsey!

I finally got the camera pointed at the kid and not my neck...

Yes even he thought I was a strange mama...mama, you strwange

Thanks honey, but I am not strange...just hip and experimental!  Artsy even...I am NOT strange!

Yes you are...

No I'm not

Giggle...

Bet if I zoomed in I could see right up his nose...

But then again he is three and that could be a bit dicey.  Who knows what we would find up there!

So there you have it...proof that I would never ever take anything a bit too far...Not me!

I'm just artsy...remember?

 

Don't stick your finger in that socket...Seriously!

Not me...I would not do this to you again!

So here is the warning.

If you have mouse issues...
Or electricity phobias....

Then you just might want to move on to another post.  Try Saturday's with all the lovely white flowers.

OK...

You've been warned!

*****

As with the last mousecapade this certainly did not happen...

It certainly could not have happened twice!

*****

We went to the cabin this weekend.

You know the one on the lake that I like to marinate mice in olive oil in...

Yes I though that would jog your memory!

So I moved the little table that we eat at away from the wall to clean up the never ending supply of crumbs from my kids and lookie what I find!

Hmmmm...what is that I see?

We just put up bead board on this wall and we haven't gotten around to putting on the outlet cover.

Do they not learn? This cabin is the like a crazy twisted fun house for mice.  They come in to party and leave in body bags.

Or olive oil jars...

Of course when I saw this I did not run for hubby, my electrician husband to be exact, to come take a look at what we caught.

He looked at the mouse and stopped and waited. He did not know that his darling wife would be just twisted enought to want to grab her camera and take a couple of shots before he removed our deceased little friend. 

No he certainly does not know me that well!

He then removed the rodent carcass.  Upon closer examination we saw the the poor little fellow's innards had been completely cooked...charred to a crisp to be exact.

But I will spare you the image of that...

So next time your mama tells you not to play with the outlet you better listen!

Not sure what advice to give you about the olive oil...it is supposed to be good for you!

*****

And no we did not take the covers off of all the outlets in hoping to catch more mice...although we seriously considered it!

And yes we did leave an olive oil jar out in hope of catching more mice...we are hicks what can I say?

And if you never visit me again I will totally understand.

 

Come see what else we are NOT doing!

Barn Advertising Making Red Blood

Remember the barn?  You know the one with the 'prescription for weak women' and the following conversation with hubby?  

Well we went by the barn again last weekend and I realized that there was yet another side with the advertisement. It continued the theme of helping 'weak women' this particular side claims to make red blood! Hmmmm....makes blood?

I guess barn advertisements were back before the day of the Truth in Advertising Act or the Federal Trade commission or...

the Women's Movement!

*****

Join us tomorrow for our weekly kinderGARDENS update...see what all the kids are growing!

Tour of the island

My kitchen island that is!

I love my kitchen...

Well I love it when its clean. 

The rest of the time it is my nemesis.  The one room (along with the laundry room) that no matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I swear it will stay clean...it just doesn't...ever.

I have an oversize island in the middle of the kitchen.  It is where I do all my baking and all the cooking.  It is also seems to be a catchall...

I would never ever let my lovely island get this cluttered...not me!

Of course I am not the only one that uses the island...its not all my fault!

This is not me...I am neither that young or that lovely.  No this is my oldest son's sweet friend Jo.  She is frying up bacon to go into clam chowder.  She and son went clam digging and come home with a HUGE amount of clams. 

Notice...she is reading the recipe off of her I-Phone!  That makes her at least 100% cooler than I ever hope to be!

Notice...the microwave oven says 9:17.  That is pm!  They are making clam chowder at 9:17 at night.

Notice...I am a vegan, my kitchen is frying bacon and cooking clams.  Ughhh it will never smell the same!  I actually had to make cinnamon rolls and lentil stew the next day to get out the smell!

My son the chef...under the close supervision of my handsome hubby.  Who cannot believe that they are making clam chowder at that hour of the evening!

Then again he can't believe that I use the island as a paint booth...

Or a potting shed...which I of course would not do.  Those things are not what kitchen islands are intended for!

And while I may complain loudly at times about the view of the island.  I cannot complain about the view from the island!

So do you have one room or area of your house that no matter how hard you try just does not or will not stay clean?

I will feel much better about myself if you share...

Unless of course your house is always clean, then you can just pretend you didn't read this post...

Not me! Child Labor

I as I told you yesterday, we just broke new ground for a tomato patch.

I raked, amended, planted and supported.

It only seemed fair that the kids help...

But as you know from past posts I certainly do not believe in child labor...

No not me!

*****

As these rows will more than likely be permanent I needed someone to walk up and down the paths to compact the soil as to discourage weed growth before I put down newspaper and straw.

So I did not tell my kids that it was a big maze as to entice them to go up and down...

So back and forth and up and down, did the little ones skip...

And stomp...

And mow?

Yes the baby decided to mow the paths!

He was doing great until he suddenly stopped.

What's wrong baby?

I'm out of gas!

Oh, of course...

I of course did not sit on my bale of straw watching my kids do my stomping for me...not me!

And I would certainly never just sit there when behind me...

No I would never sit and watch while my biggest boy hauled gravel...ahem.

No I certainly don't believe in child labor...especially not in my garden!

And I would never ask the big one to build a kiwi arbor, or a couple of cold frames, or even paint the chicken house...

No it would never occur to me!

Speaking of kids in the garden...

Don't forget to join us for our Children's Gardening Contest.

It runs all summer long so it is not too late to join in the fun!

Click on the button to find out all the details and see the prize list!

*****

Come see what else we are NOT doing!

Sex, Chocolate, and a prescription for weak woman

This did not happen...ahem.

While driving home from getting our bees, our children were sweetly sleeping in the car seats in the back of our minivan.  I did not risk waking the little darlings and spoiling the peace by hollering at my husband to quickly pull over...resulting in him slamming on the breaks for fear of a deer in the road or some such danger, sorry honey.

I could not believe my eyes...I grabbed for my camera (yet another reason to always have it within arms length) I just had to document this...

ROFL...I LOVE old barn advertisements but this one took the cake!

'For weak women' it read 'Dr. Pierce's favorite prescription'

Hahaha...weak women!

***

"Hey honey I wonder what the prescription could be?  Something that would make weak women strong and healthy!"

We did not at the very same time shout out...

SEX!

CHOCOLATE!

I will just let you guess which spouse said what...

***

We of course did not chuckle to ourselves all the way home...

We also did not wake the children!

No we would never do that...

   
 

Chalkboard Bread. Not my Kid!

Note...this story did NOT happen.  My kid would certainly not do something like this!

Twice every week we make bread here on the farm.

Twice a week my two littlest ones help by adding ingredients, stirring, and forming their own loaves.

Most weeks I watch the 2 year old closely...

Sometimes I don't.

Sometimes I regret my inattentiveness!

Here is Baby Boy's loaf of bread.  He always wants a piece hot out of the oven.

Hmmm...That is strange.  Did the flour not get mixed up?

Hey baby, what are those white spots?

Those chwak

Huh?

CH- W- AK

Chalk?

Uhh Huhh

Why is there chalk in your bread?

Cause.

Cause why?

Me want to.

Ohhh...

Me color wiff my bwead mama?

No, you may not color with your bread you little goof.

Me eat my bwead mama?

No sweetie you may not eat this bread.

We'll give it to the chickens after we take out all the chalk

Chickens like bread?

Yes they do very much.

They like chwak?

I'm thinkin' not so much.

Ohhhh...

We pulled 6 sticks of chalk out of the baby's bread.

So your tip for the day from the farm is this...

Keep an eye on your toddler when he's making bread.  Hide the pepper, seasoning salt and chalk.  Because he would certainly never use any of those things to enhance the flavor of his otherwise boring whole wheat bread!

Not my Craft Projects!

As seeing that I am a sensitive sweet wife and am very much in touch with my husband's need for order...

My little craft projects would never...

Take over a spot in the garage as a 'gate building station' causing him to have to be careful how far he pulls his car in...I would certainly not have had this station for weeks now.

And I would never take an old chenille bed spread off of hubby's corvette to use as a drop cloth...cause then his precious car would get dusty.

I would certainly not cover the whole kitchen island for days so I could doodle on an old kitchen cabinet...

I do not rummage through the laundry hoping for stray socks instead of folding the towels and underwear just so I can make little creatures...no that would not be the responsible housewife thing to do...

Neither would be spilling on purpose a whole container of foamy stickers while searching for all the letter I would need to 'write' on my painted chair project.  Sweet hubby did not have to walk by this mess every night for 3 nights while trying to make his way to the computer to do our taxes.  No I clean up after myself right away...all the time!

And I would certainly never...ever...light a fire in the woodstove on a perfectly warm sunny day just so I could dry the drawers of my newest project faster.  No I am perfectly content to wait the 24 hours between coats as per the instructions on the can of paint.

My darling husband did not walk in after work to our overly warm family room...look at the woodstove and then at me and roll his eyes.

Nope he would never do that!

Come join us to see what else we are not doing!

Lost Jeans not Me Monday

For over a week I have not stood at my kitchen sink and looked out over our lower pasture.  I have admired the wide open skies, the far off hills, and generally the loveliness of the country.

But there has been something that has marred my view...a distraction of sorts...lying in the tall grass.

For over a week I have not wondered about it.  What is that?  Is it some garbage that blew there in the wind?  Is it a toy of the kids' that they forgot to bring in?

What could it be?

Finally I could stand it no more...I had to find out what this was.

As I walked out the back door and down the field I recognized that is was some article of clothing...

Getting closer I recognized...jeans.

With a little bit of pink on them....Hmmm

Sweet Girl's jeans in the middle of the pasture, this could only mean one thing.

It means my darling daughter did not strip off her pants in the middle of the pasture in the middle of February...

And run around playing in her skivvies.

No...my child would not do such a thing

Or she wouldn't until at least March!

*****

I also did not find a pair of pink socks on the way back into the house...

And a jacket...

Not Me no Bare Feet in January!

We had a lovely day here just last week...

It was sunny and the kids and I spent the day outside, mostly in the garden.

The following did not happen because that would be irresponsible of me as a parent to let it...

Sweet Girl started the day her usual fashion forward self...purple boots, sweats under her nightgown, jacket and pink scarf to finish the look.  Before too long the jacket had been removed, the sweats tossed, the scarf flung aside and...

The boots befell the same fate...which of course meant that my darling daughter was not running round the garden in January in her nightgown and bare feet.  I of course being the sensible mother would not put up with such a thing!

I would certainly never just stand by an take pictures...

She of course having the same common sense as her mother would never sit and eat lunch, legs tucked up in her nightgown trying to keep them warm...no she would find her clothes and put them back on.  

No...that would be silly!
 

Yes we are raising sensible, practical children here on the farm...we would certainly never go bare foot in January while riding in a moving vehicle!

And certainly not a pink one! 

Come join us to see what else we are not doing!  

I can also be found over at Not Dabbling in Normal discussing owning real estate for financial independence...yeah, riveting I know, lol!

 

Not Me Monday Pink Ballerina Servent

This conversation never happened...

Really.

Sweetie I need you to empty the dishwasher.

I'm playing ballerina princess...princesses don't do chores.

Well I'm the queen and have signed a decree saying that all ballerina princess must do their duty to help out around the castle.

But I'm dancing.

Right now young lady!

And because she has does not have a dramatic streak this is what did not happen next...

Oh my she can turn on the waterworks!

She would of course not sit down on the floor quite indignant.

Mama I think you had kids so they could be your servants.

Honey if I didn't have kids my house would always be clean, the laundry would always be done and the dishwasher would not have to be emptied multiple times a day...

Oh...maybe we should get servents.

But darling...that is why I had kids. 

(I of course wasn't chuckling to myself by that point.)

But you said...

Just do the dishwasher!

As luck would have it, taking out my camera always brings out the silly side.

Tears were soon forgotten...

Let the silliness begin!

  
Oh yeah! 

Rock Star Princess! 

Drop.. your...sword! 

LOL...someone has watched Princess Bride one too many times!

Ninja warrior ballerina princess...with bowl on head! 

 

She ended up in such a good mood she even shared her scart with her baby brother!

Who of course did not promptly take it off and use it as a whip!

 And guess what?

Yep...the queen got her dishwasher emptied!

And they all lived happily ever after,

With the princess never again complaining about chores...

Or not!

 

Come join us to see what else we are not doing today!

 

I'm also over at Not Dabbling in Normal discussing my deep loathing for slugs...I will warn you it is not for the squeamish!

Not Me Monday...I'm not a Hick, Really!

I am not a Hick...

I do not live in a Hick town...

Really!

***

I did not see a sticker on the back window of a large 4x4 Ford Pickup Truck driving in my town that said...

Help us please

Daddy just farted

And we can't get out!

I did not laugh out loud...

Because my humor is way to sophisticated to find such a thing funny.

***

I did not hear on the radio just before Christmas an ad for getting your truck bed lined. I did not think to myself that I would consider that one of the best gifts I could ask for.

***

When I was driving with one of my college age sons we saw a sign for the lottery.  When asked by said son what I would do if I won the lottery I did not without hesitation blurt out

"New barn so big that we could have a full basketball court upstairs where we could have games, roller skate, and have square dances"

He did not look at me with a deadpan face and say

"I do not even know why I ask you these things"

***

My favorite store does not have a large sign that says

Bait window

Open at 6am

No...stores with bait windows are not nearly highbrow enough for me!

***

My second favorite store was remolding their gun room and running a great sale...

I did not consider running out there for some stocking stuffers for hubby and to just do a little window shopping...

No, I would not window shop in a gun store...with a specific raccoon in mind.

Really I wouldn't!

***

On the way home from the bank I did not turn up the radio and sing,

Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy

At the top of my lungs...knowing every word!

I was also not just a little thankful to be in the car by myself without children as to not having to listen to Veggie Tales...again!

***

While at the bank I did not do this just to get back at the little camera that is always taking my picture...

 

No I would not do such a thing at my big classy financial institution.

Besides, who takes their camera to the bank anyway???

***

No I am not a hick...

And you can't prove otherwise!

Come join us to see what us we are NOT doing today!

And for further proof...I am over at Not Dabbling in Normal where I've written a post on gardening with kids in the winter, specifically worm boxes!  Nope, not a hick...

Not Me Monday the Camel Kiss

Oldest son is home from college for Christmas.  Gizmo loves oldest son...

In spite of their great affection for each other...

This never happened!

Because it just never could...

Hey...don't I know you? 

Snifffff...

Aren't you the one that always brings me apples?   

I knew you were...

Hey dude thanks! 

Come a little closer old buddy...

You know I had a cool beard like that till your mother shaved it off...

I know, its a tragic story...

Hey man...I sure missed ya!

And while you're home...could you tell your mom it wouldn't kill her to give me an apple now and then...

And a little extra grain would be nice...

And could she do something about the fence?

I think its broken again.

 

Hello?  Still there?  This is me...this did not happen. My oldest, my precious college educated first born son, the one I raised so sensibly, would never, ever kiss a camel...never!

Come on over to Not Me Monday to see what else we are NOT doing!

 

 

 I can also be found over at Not Dabbling in Normal today talking about my grand and sweeping New Year's resolutions...or not!
 
 

Not Me Monday the Bread Bandit!

This is my oven twice a week.  Two days a week my kids mill about the kitchen waiting for the bread and cinnamon rolls to be done so they can have some...

This is a little tale from one of those days...

Set up:

The bread is done and is cooling on the counter.  Baby Boy wanders in wanting a piece.  I am washing dishes in the sink not singing Christmas Carols at the top of my lungs...

Me want bread pweeze.

OK baby I'll cut you a piece.

I cut him a big piece of raisin cinnamon swirl bread and leave it on the counter I did not turn my back and go back to the dishes...Angels we have heard on high...Gloooooooooriaaaaaa....

No, I always supervise my 2 year old when he eats!

I turned around a little...much...later to check on the baby and see his slice of bread still on the counter...but the rest of the loaf is gone...

As is he!

 

I did not find him hiding around the corner with this in his hands...

The whole loaf of bread! 

 

Hey you little stinker! 

 

Wook mama...me eat whole thing!

I see that.

I cut a piece for you, its on the counter over there.  Why did you take the whole loaf?

Me want to...me big boy...me no need wittle piece.

Me need BIG piece bread!  

 

You don't need a whole loaf.

Yes me do.

No sir.

Yes mama me do...me no sir, me big boy. 

I did not let him carry around that loaf for most of the morning sharing with his sister now and then.  I did not have to sweep crumbs up all day. I certainly wouldn't let him have it at at every meal for the next two days till it was gone...no that would be silly of me. 

The moral of the story?

When you are singing Christmas Carols and doing dishes always be alert for the Bread Bandit...

You never know when he might strike!

Oh yeah...and hide the loaf! 

 

Come see what else we are NOT doing today!

 

 

 

Not Me Monday Outdoor Shower in November Brrrrr!

If you have read my blog for very long you know that kids that live on a farm tend to get outrageously muddy and filthy.  Mine are no exception...

But although they may get dirty they are oh so careful to not get my house dirty or muddy.

No they would never leave muddy hand prints on the door...

Or the knob...

Or the window...

Certainly not the patio...they must have been walking on their hands!

Certainly my small children would never ever paint the dog with mud...

Sorry Sugar.

Being that its November and quite cold out I would never ever strip my kids of their muddy clothing outside and put them in our outdoor shower...

 
 

You know I would certainly do it in the heat of the summer months due to faces like this...

But never at Thanksgiving time because it is too cold and they would certainly not like it one bit, no my kids aren't that crazy!

I did not smile as steam rose from them while they danced in the shower...in November...when it was in the 40's!

Wait what is that I see in the mist?

Is that a camel I see in the distance?

Hey Gizmo...want a shower?

No I do not give my kids showers outdoors in the late fall while a camel watched them...no that would just be too weird. 

Even for me!

 
 

Come see what else we are not doing today!

 

I can also be found today at Not Dabbling in Normal where I share why remodeling is a family affair!

Not Me Monday You're Benched!

Standing at the sink one day, minding my own business...

Doing the never ending, boring, thankless job of washing dishes...no I am not bitter.

When I did not hear my children screaming and squealing from my bedroom.

My children only use their inside voices in our home...

As I wondered (ran) back to see what the little angels were up to,

I  did not walk in to find this...

That would not be my 21 year old very mature and reserved son with a bench atop his back...

Topped off by two small and very happy children going for a ride!

And just to be clear...that is not my un-made bed in the background.

I always make my bed.

I of course did not go and get my camera instead of finishing the all important task of doing dishes!

 

Come find out what we are not doing today!

Mot My Kids Monday Hide and Seek!

Hide and seek...one of the alltime best games of childhood.

My kids were playing the other day.

1,2,3,4,5....10!  Ready or not here I come!

Sweet Girl under the dining room table...normal

Baby Boy giggling under a blanket on the couch...typical

Number two, 21 year old son curled up on my kitchen counter...a little weird!

Well except that this is my unique, creative, fun loving son, so for him...totally normal and totally ok!

I found you!  Giggle, giggle...you are so funny!  Can I hide up there next time?

As a mom 5 times over I have learned that saying 'not my kid' is totally silly because just when you think they will not surpirse you with something strange and new...

Well you know!

Join us at Not Me Monday!

 I'm also over at Not Dabbling in Normal today bragging about my Bell Peppers!  I also have a great inexpensive season extending tip.

Not Me Monday the Potty Edition

Warning...this post is not for the weak of stomach, the newly pregnant, or those with a less than strong constitution.

 Potty Adventures with my five kids...

Or what I would never do as a sane, caring, compassionate parent and wife!

Recently I did not forget to put a towel under Baby Boy as he unexpectedly fell asleep on the couch (he still wets in his sleep).  He then of course did not wet all over himself and the couch as though he had just finished off a whole liter of pop!  I tried to blot it up as best I could... but since company was coming over I knew I had no time to launder the cover on that section of the couch so I did not just flip over the damp cushion. Of course I did not spend the whole visit hoping my dear friend would stay on her side of the couch as apposed to the pee pee side.  I did not forget all about it until a few days later when I was searching through the couch for the remote control and lifted up said cushion and wondered what the stench was...I would never ever do such a thing because that would be gross!

I would never leave one of my kids with their father while potty training...because well he is not quite as long suffering as I am when it comes to this particular child rearing topic.  So one day I did not leave my #2 son with his father when he was in the midst of training to use the toilet.  As luck would have it small son did not poop in his underwear.  My husband did not show his usual compassion and take darling son outside and proceed to clean him off with the hose in the middle of the yard...with cold water!  He of course did not warn my small son that every time he pooped in his underwear from then on daddy was going to take him outside and hose him down...this particular son did not ever go in his underwear again...he really didn't!

I of course did not tell my husband that hosing a small child off outside with the hose was not what the books recommend for potty training...you were to be caring and kind and above all not become irritated.  Husband did not proceed to tell me that the books were certainly written by some...and I quote

"Pansy assed intellectuals who obviously have never raised real children...just hypothetical children."

How can one argue with logic like this???

  
 

Then there was the darling daughter that was so sensitive to smells when she was little that she would sit on the toilet while gagging the whole time when she had a bowel movement.  She never had an accident in her pants but there were times that I had to clean vomit off the floor when she was done with 'business'...

My three oldest boys would never stand around the commode and pee together to see how many bubbles they could make...and I would never stand at the door and watch the show chuckling to myself to see such a sight...well because I'm too proper for that and so are my children!

I never do a really cool 'pee-pee dance' when my children make it to the potty in time!

And lastly I would never discuss in a public forum the private trials of my potty training experience with my kids...because it just wouldn't be seemly.

Ahhhhh she didn't just say that!!!!

So now if you never visit me again on Not Me Monday I will completely understand...but I will miss you!

Not Me...Never

It is that time again...

Fall?  No...

Canning? No...

Painting, Sewing, Jogging...Nope, Nada, Nah!

It is...

 

Potty Training time...for the 5th and last (I'm presuming anyway) time.

But I of course being the prim and proper parent would never do this...

Meet Capitan UnderPants!

I would not send my baby to grandma's in his Cookie Monster underwear and red rubber boots...nope, would not do that, it would not be civilized!

 

He seldom goes to Grandma's without some sort of container to collect treasures in...

 

Why rubber boots when it is not raining? I hear you wondering...

It of course would not be that it is much easier to clean pee out of rubber boots than it is out of leather tennis shoes...no that would never be my reasoning...that would be just a little icky!

I of course as a parent would not worry about the amount of laundry potty training causes, therefore forgoing pants for the next month or so.  I would never be so insensitive to the tender baby legs that might get scratched on the pasture grass or any potential scraped knees...no I am a much more tender mother than that!

 

Nor would I assault the sensitives of any stray UPS driver that might meander up our dead end drive...

Bye Baby...have fun at grandma's!

Another thing that a sensible parent like I would never ever do...

I would never look at these pictures and realize that today it is potty training...

Tomorrow...College!

I would not then proceed to start to cry and have to stop posting while I composed myself...

No that is just not me...

 Oh who am I kidding?  That is just exactly like me.

Bye bye baby...mama will miss you.

Sniffff...

Come see what else we are NOT doing!

 

Not Me, I Would Never Shave a Camel!

 

This could not have happened at my house because if it had...

That would make my life just too weird even for me...

 

While washing some dishes the other day I happened to look out of the window to see the camel leaning across the fence almost to the point of breaking it...all the while ignoring the electricity pulsing through the supposedly critter proof top wire.  This part of the story I fully admit happened.

I of course did not run out side shouting at said camel and would never ever throw one of my wet half washed pots at him...that would not be rational.  I would also not leave it out in the field for 5 days, nope, never.

He of course did not move back but a few paces and look at me, annoyed, while chewing the grass he illegally got from my side of the fence...I get no respect.

I did not then stomp back into the house and yell for my 21 year old college student son who was minding his own business doing homework...I would not interrupt homework for anything, it is far too important!

I then did not proceed to tell him I was either going for hubby's shotgun or the clippers.

He being the calm son would never need to explain to his emotional mother that it would be a LOT of trouble to bury something as big a a camel with nothing but a shovel...

The clippers it was...or wasn't!

I of course have camel clippers (yep, go ask for those at the feed store!)...I would never borrow the clippers my mom has for her cock-a-poo, no that would be too odd.

I then did not proceed to have my son, who should have been doing homework, shave the camel's neck as to make for better contact with the electric fence...would never do this.

The poor boy did not get camel hair all over him... 

I certainly did not then let my 6 year old daughter grab the clippers and go for it... 

I would never think it prudent parenting for a small child to be handling an electric cutting device while standing beneath a 1500# slightly grumpy camel...not me I'm a better parent than that! 

If I was to let my daughter do such a thing I'm sure she would do a great job!

 

Meanwhile...

I would never in a million years recruit my freshly out of Marine Boot Camp favorite nephew in the whole world, to partake in such a strange thing as in shaving a camel...nor would I have him hold a manure covered bucket with grain to keep the camel still.  I have way more respect for him than that... 

I of course would never ever tease him that if he is ever shipped to Iraq that he would fit right in...knowing how to shave a camel and all...I would not find that completely amusing, cracking myself up insanely...nope I have a better sense of humor than that!

I would never suggest that if he was really tough he would get up and ride the hairy, obnoxious beast...no I would never tease a Marine!

Nope things like this don't happen around here...really, they don't!

No...that would just be too strange.

 

Besides...camels don't like to be shaved...really they don't!

Come see what else we are NOT doing!

Not Me Monday...Yes I went to college, Why?

 
Sweet Girl and I made a great little project the other day...

We cut our wood, measured our lines and then carefully painted it with lovely pastel colors...

We then painted itty bitty numbers, taking care to not get any paint on ourselves...

We of course would not be so messy.

Yep...we're making a place value chart...

Sweet girl is learning about this in math...

The 1's place, 10's place and the 100's place 

Of course being a college educated mother this is all just kids stuff to me...

I also painstakingly put little x's on each of the number leaving the 's' in each one plain to add some artistic punch...it would certainly not be because I was tired of painting little x's...

And if any of you smart readers can see what I'm going to not be admitting to please don't let me know how fast you noticed...it would make me feel much better about myself, thank you very much...my tender ego thanks you too!

Little flowers were meticulously painted in the direct center of each column...

Meanwhile my 21 year old college student son comes in to watch, the following conversation never happened

Hey mom, what are you doing?

Making a place value chart for Sweet Girl's math lessons...cool huh?

Yeah but...

But what?

Have you looked at it...really looked at it?

Why did I mess up the paint somewhere?

Didn't you say you went to college?

Yes I did...what's with the sarcasm?

Just look at it mom and you will eventually figure it out.

He heads to the refrigerator while chuckling to himself...

I look at my little chart...

and look..

look some more...

No! I would not do that...

I slap my hand on my forehead and my son laughs out loud, Sweet Girl looks puzzled, and Baby Boy laughs just because his brother is.

No, a smart cookie like me would not get the chart backwards, I would certainly not put the hundreds where the ones go or visa versa.

I then did not have to pry all the numbers off, scrape as much glue off as I could, repaint and re-glue...I would have to do that because that would be an irritating waste of time.

I also would not realize after I was all done that the tens column actually did not have to be redone because it was correct...no, I did not remove it also.

Of course there was not evidence left on the lovely chart of my mistake...never.

 Who put that arrow there?

Of course my darling college student son would never tell his brothers about this with great amusement...no, he would not embarrass is mother like that.

Of course I did not spend all afternoon wondering what my oldest children and their lovely friend were thinking of their college educated mother... 

Because I was too busy watching Sweet Girl's soccer game...

And being cool...

In my drugstore glasses...

And my Bonne Bell over glossed lips...

I certainly could not be bothered by sarcastic older children...

 Besides...Baby Boy knows nothing about place value...

Yet!

Come visit and see what else we are NOT doing!

Note when I get the number cards done I will show the completed...and correct...place value chart to you